Despite feeling like shit and sleeping most of the day, I got my sorry ass out of bed, took a shower and went to vote. (Compared to what folks went through to even allow us the right to vote, it was the least I could do.) All the usual suspects were out and about, including some friends. Usually I’m among the faithful around city hall but with a growing family and a tight schedule I ended up sitting this one out mostly.

For (central) Texas election returns, check out the News 8 Austin election returns center.

Congrats to Michelle for making her way on to the Kyle City Council. She’s fought long and hard to make her way there and it’s a win not just for her, but for the council and for the city as a whole. We’ve come a very long way in a very short time and it’s nice to see the council grow to include some very smart and dedicated individuals.

The last few days have been completely exhausting. We had plenty of trouble trying to get Seth to feed but finally got some relief via the Pediatrician who allowed us to start using the assisted feeding system. It basically allows us to keep him feeding normally via the breast but with a little tube on the side so he gets some milk as well. It’s not that we aren’t on the normal track but Seth has been, well, rather impatient with the entire thing. Once we got him on the system he went after it, quickly downing quite a bit of formula. Since doing that this morning he’s slept much better and given us a bit of breathing room. My hope tonight is that at least Magda gets more rest as she’s slept as little as I have and been through much more of an ordeal here obviously. Tomorrow should bring lots of paperwork, a circumcision and, hopefully, discharge from the hospital.

Weight: 8lbs 11oz
Height: 20.5″
Born: 4/27/2007 09:31am

Mama and baby are doing great - many thanks to everyone for their support!

Otherwise I might end up with confirmation bias.

I’ve always said that I try to call a spade a spade. I do not own allegiance to a party or to an ideology. I think too many people do this and that’s part of the problem. One must, above all things, strive to keep an open mind…

I heard someone on an MSM news show use the term “cognitive dissonance” today. I love how sometimes guests will throw out these terms in an effort to take a higher-than-thou-brow approach to the topic.

I had heard of cognitive dissonance before and a brief refresher course at wikipedia reminded me why I am so endearing of the term. I strongly believe that part of the problem that we are currently experiencing is simply due to a dissonance within our belief systems. There was a guy on Hannity and Colmes tonight from the American Legion who had once been (apparently) an ACLU lawyer. There was particular interest on Colmes’ part to discuss one particular case about a cross in a cemetary - a proposition that apparently the ACLU had decided would not let stand and sued the government - blah, blah, blah. Well, the question that Colmes made was a good one, to the effect of “don’t you believe, good sir, that if a cross is there that other religions should be able to express their religions as they wish on the same grounds?” Specifically, Colmes referenced a statue of the Buddha. I thought the response from the gentleman might be to jump literally out of the tv monitor and wring Colmes’ neck — the first glance of horror had to be immediately replaced and instead of saying what seemed obvious by the facial response, he had to duck the question — or, rather, rubber band the question — “isn’t this all common sense” the guy asks? This is a case of dissonance, I believe, because the guy’s obvious Christian upbringing and fervor to allow the cross to be held in a cemetary (not to mention that the guy belongs to the American Legion) is in direct contract to the teachings of Christianity which may even be contradicting itself. The bible says “thou shalt not have any other goods” or “make statues or idols”, but it also says “love thy neighbor as thyself” (rough translations are mine, of course). So what is this guy to do? This is the dissonance, the inability to reconcile the multitude of ideals that are entrenched in our brains so deeply as to make us dumb. I say this from a Christian perspective, too — Jesus preached tolerance above all things, or, rather, Love above all things and it always seemed to me that Jesus teachings overrode (in formidable rock, paper, scissors fashion) all those things that we might find in the old testament. (Certainly those things that come from God’s mouth in the form of Jesus override what supposedly comes through mere mortal mouths in the old school). But I digress…

Again, the problem of dissonance is problematic because I think it tears us apart. I will post myself as an example as well. Given the acts of Sept. 11 I was all for Bush going into Afghanistan and ripping any terrorists a new one…twice. Anger is not as simple in the aftermath. Indeed, once Bush made the leap from Afghanistan to Iraq I started to unhinge. But certainly, the case was made very well and I reconciled this dissonance by using Sept. 11 as the lesson (as the administration said we ought to do). The fact of the matter is that the dissonance is out of our hands. Clearly our ears make checks to our emotions that our brain can’t cash. Which is my current situation. I am an ultimate believer in logic and balance but I cannot, given all my faculties and the resources of the internet-at-large reconcile this dissonance. I would dare say in many ways that the dissonance is quietly growing - it’s like a gently increasing wave (think sine wave action). And since such cognitive discord is negative, you can imagine the amount of energy it might take to counter act all this. Unwraveling and filtering and trying to make good judgements of it all are the only hope and peace that I might aspire to achieve.

Update: I think one of the things that is tangential to the idea of cognitive dissonance but that I did not get across very well, is the idea of competing models. This is something that plagues the religious right but surprisingly hasn’t hurt them as “hypocritical” in any of the elections to this point - heck, they have both they own most levels of government at this point so I reckon a little hubris can be afforded. Still, there is no meek hipocrisy and the idea that many in that particular camp can use the bible or Christian teachings (generally speaking) to forward an agenda that is littered with hate and intolerance is an affront to any true, good hearted and well meaning Christian. Bill Bennet and Pat Roberts are only two examples (of very many) that I would need to make my case on this topic.

I think its interesting how Sebastian will be sleeping one second and then the very next find himself crying like a banshee. It’s not a pouty cry either, but rather more of the cry of someone who has been awakened by the most terrifying dream ever conceived by man. Most of the time though, it’s simply No. 1’s in the diaper.

There are times though when I don’t rule out that he has had some type of night terror - those dreams that encapsulate the worst of what one individual can conceive. I tend to have them quite often (perhaps often enough to be concerned about the psychological meaning and ramifications of it all) but I hope that what Sebastian is going through is nothing like that. If it turns out to be hunger pains or a full diaper, that’s fine by me and regardless whether or not I get waken up at 2am.

Sometimes his cry though will start and persist, to the point that he goes from a bright red to an almost violet. His whole body will shake the room and it’s as if for a second he’s turned into Moadib (Dune, anyone?) and is now able to crush those around him with a single sound. It’s deafening, though not annoying - not by any stretch. It does what its supposed to do and is merely an alarm for the parental units to fix whatever it is that is bothering him. I guess my biggest concern with the crying is making sure that the method by which we fix it is a balance of us nurturing him without spoiling him. I am trying to raise a male after all - though not to be sexist - if it were a girl I would be thinking the same thing because I want my children to be well adjusted and strong.

Life can really do unimaginable things to you. The ebb and flow, the stress and emotion is like being seated backward in a roller coaster ride driven by a fiendish little gnome. Perhaps, its worse but I can’t think of a metaphor that elaborates on the concept well enough.

So I finally have a chance to sit and write for a moment. Sebastian has drifted off to dream a bit earlier than usual. He is doing quite well actually - eating, sleeping, and pooping…well, not so much pooping right now and we might have to see the doc about that soon. But he is mostly a happy baby and the constant “coo” of his voice calms me probably way more than my singing (if “twinkle, twinkle little star” in a flat tone can be called that) calms him. It is actually quite amazing to sit and listen/watch him as he starts talking. My wife says that he is “weedy, weedy” (bad speech-to-text translation, I know) just like his dad and I tend to think she might be right as he seems to be quite the talker at this point. We have rolling conversations for at least half an hour and between the smiles and the cooing my day just can’t get any better. I try to take pictures when I can - I find myself struggling to bust out the Rebel at times and just go for the PowerShot instead cause its so much easier. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Rebel, but sometimes the weight of the thing feels heavier than Sebastian and putting the flash on every time is not my idea of fun (and trust me, without a flash, it’s just not the same).

I think it’s funny that every time I sit down to write about things my mind starts drawing blanks. Just about every day I think “I need to blog that” and never get time to do so, and then when I actually do get the time I have nothing to say. It’s quite the predicament.

I think I might start sending this site out to my family as a means of keeping up with what’s going on. It is so incredibly difficult these days to keep up with everyone. I don’t like sending forwarded joke or chain emails as a means of blindly staying in touch - but having a blog where everyone can come visit seems appropriate - it’s still very personal and allows you to absorb as much about your family/friends as you could without talking with them face to face and hanging out. Certainly, cyberspace (boy, that term is used less and less these days) is no replacement for true social interaction.